Bheegi Hui Aankhon Ka Ye Manzar Na Milega

I am not afraid to admit I am afraid. I’m scared how these new beginnings will turn out to be, and I’m also scared about all the things that are ending.

Moving out of home for the first time. For good.
Getting my first job.
Letting go of people.
Patiently holding on to others, hoping.
Running around and meeting everyone I know and have cared about because-

Lata Mangeshkar once sang this:

Lag ja gale ke phir ye haseen raat ho na ho.
Shayad phir iss janam mein mulaqaat ho na ho.

Tad bit too dramatic? It is. My life is just this. Drama at its best.

Just today I was telling Ishita how things that happen to us are etched onto our lives. Forever. There’s no undoing it. And there’s no fucking way to go back and change something, let alone freeze time and people and places and feelings.

I fucking *hate* feelings.

“Iss khwaab ke mahaul mein be-khwaab hain aankhein
Jab neend bahut aaygi bistar na milega”

Anyway. This nazm makes me cringe because it’s honest. I like honest. I think honesty hurts and I always try and be honest to myself because it helps me think clearer, if not very correctly.

 

Bashir Badr is the genius I’m only starting to discover. More of his work will be coming up soon. This.. this post is. I don’t know. Hard to. Put.

Also.

Please don’t? Please stop.

 

Bheegi hui aankhon ka ye manzar na milega
Ghar chhodke mat jao kahin ghar na milega

Nowhere will you find this view of my eyes teared up
Don’t leave home and go, you won’t find it anywhere else

 

Phir yaad bahut aaygi zulfon ki ghani shaam
Jab dhoop mein saaya koi sar par na milega

You know you’ll miss my hair.. My hair that’s like a dark evening
When there’ll be no one to give shelter to you under the sun

 

Aansu ko kabhi os ka qatra na samajhna
Aisa tumhein chahat ka samundar na milega

Don’t ever think of a tear as a drop of dew
You’ll never find a greater ocean of love

 

Iss khwaab ke mahaul mein be-khwaab hain aankhein
Jab neend bahut aaygi bistar na milega

In this dreamy scenario, I’m left with eyes which have no dreams
And when you’ll be dying to get some sleep, you won’t find a bed

 

Ye sochlo ab akhri saaya hai mohabbat
Iss dar se uthoge toh koi dar na milega

Just think of love as your last shelter now
If you give up on this door, you won’t find another.

 

In Devanagri:

भीगी हुई आँखों का ये मंज़र ना मिलेगा
घर छोड़के ना जाओ कहीं घर ना मिलेगा

फिर याद बहुत आएगी ज़ुल्फ़ों की घनी शाम
जब धुप में साया कोई सर पर ना मिलेगा

आंसू को कभी ओस का क़तरा मत समझना
ऐसा तुम्हें चाहत का समुन्दर ना मिलेगा

इस ख्वाब के माहौल में बे-ख्वाब हैं आँखें
जब नींद बहुत आएगी बिस्तर ना मिलेगा

ये सोचलो अब आखरी साया है मोहब्बत
इस दर से उठोगे तो कोई दर ना मिलेगा

 

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