Could someone just live my life on my behalf?
I wonder sometimes what a relief it would be.
The trouble isn’t the hardships of life, but the emptiness in it.
There are days when I would just be grateful if I could feel something.
I truly have witnessed life pass by. Day after day, every day.
Every day being completely aware of an entire day passing. Of the clocks ticking. Of time doing its thing. And I’ve felt nothing.
Sometimes I wonder if a few years from now, I’m gonna remember these days when I used to think “Maybe in the future, I will think about today” and maybe feel something.
“Ah. I should have done XYZ when I had the time!”
“What was I thinking?! 2 years have gone by!”
Slightly lost in purpose. More or less hopeless. It isn’t a pretty sight, no.
Amidst all this, I read plenty of poems to find inspiring words (lol) that ring true with the feelings that have surfaced over the last few months and I found this rather comforting one by Nida Fazli.
I’m really not sure if this is comforting because that’s exactly what the poem is about-
“Other’s lives are not yours. You’ve got to live it. Endure it. So stop feeling comforted for no reason.”
Morose much, is it? Sorry.
I love the way it’s written though. The directness. And the truth.
Until next time!
Tera Naam Nahi
Tere paeron chala nahi jo
Dhoop chaaunv mein dhala nahi jo
Vah tera sach kaise
Jis par tera naam nahi?
If it isn’t you who walked the path
If you haven’t turned one with the light and the shadows
Then how can you claim
That the truth belongs to you?
Tujhse pehle beet gaya jo
Vah itihaas hai tera
Tujhko hi poora karna hai
Jo banvaas hai tera
Teri saansein jiya nahi jo
Ghar aangan ka diya nahi jo
Wo Tulsi ki Ramayan hai
Tera Ram nahi
Things that happened before you
That’s your past and nothing more
You alone have to endure
The banishment life serves your way
It isn’t him, but you who is enduring this life
It isn’t him, but you who is the dearest to your own
He? He’s Tulsi’s tale of Ramayana
Ram’s destiny is not meant to be yours
Tera hi tan puja ghar hai
Koi murat gadh le
Koi pustak saath na degi
Chaahe jitna padh le
Tere sur mein saja nahi jo
Iktaare par baja nahi jo
Wo Meera ki sampatti hai
Tera Shyam nahi
Your body is your temple, you see
Get statues made if you wish to
No books and literature are going to help you
No matter how far and wide you search for the answers
His life isn’t supposed to fit in tune with yours
His life isn’t the same as yours (His whose hymns are sung on the Iktara)
He belongs to Meera (bai)
He isn’t your Shyam
(Your fate won’t be the same as his)
तेरा नाम नहीं
तेरे पैरों चला नहीं जो
धूप छाँव में ढला नहीं जो
वह तेरा सच कैसे,
जिस पर तेरा नाम नहीं?
तुझसे पहले बीत गया जो
वह इतिहास है तेरा
तुझको ही पूरा करना है
जो बनवास है तेरा
तेरी साँसें जिया नहीं जो
घर आँगन का दिया नहीं जो
वो तुलसी की रामायण है
तेरा राम नहीं
तेरा ही तन पूजा घर है
कोई मूरत गढ़ ले
कोई पुस्तक साथ न देगी
चाहे जितना पढ़ ले
तेरे सुर में सजा नहीं जो
इकतारे पर बजा नहीं जो
वो मीरा की संपत्ति है
तेरा श्याम नहीं