Sakhi, Wo Mujhse Kehkar Jaate

I went on a short-film watching spree tonight. I think I’ve seen about 15 of them, and this one warmed my heart up like no other.

Almost as if I could watch my heart’s face curve into a smile. (Yep, I put a face to a heart because I have the creative liberty. How abused was that word in English classes in school, no?) Heheh.

After a century, I’ve felt like making a film again. I don’t like technicalities. I love context.

Context is my favourite word. FAVOURITE.

The dictionary defines it as the following: the circumstances that form the setting for an event, statement, or idea, and in terms of which it can be fully understood.

I love films that you can fully understand. I love when I can see it end to end. Who likes confusion anyway?! I mean, all those theories about Inception at the time of its release and the various speculations are so momentary, that it the meaning of the film was lost. One may argue that the vagueness and openness actually challenged the meaning of the film and the meaning was what was over-debated and over-intellectualised.
Frankly, I find it boring. I like simple things. Simple things are the best.

There. I have declared it.

No.

You cannot argue.

Why not simple things? Why is complicated attractive?

For entertainment purposes? Um. FIND BETTER THINGS TO DO IN LIFE THEN.

LIKE ENTERTAINMENT. ACTUAL ENTERTAINMENT.

Yes. I’m screaming my thoughts at you^

See, that’s the fun part about writing this blog. I can say anything.

I almost never know who’s reading.

In fact I’m good friends now with someone who has been reading my blog for the last 2 years and I had absolutely no idea he existed. (Psst. Lahoriyon ka kya hua?)*

Well. A senior of my mine from b-school wrote in earlier this week to discuss about Hindi writers and Hindi in general. I have no idea why that makes me happy. It just does! It’s fun to know the language. It’s fun to hear versions of the truth in different languages. It really changes things. It changes contexts.

I am writing after two whole months and I start feeling sick in the stomach when I’m approaching the one month deadline I’ve set for myself. With a month’s delay, this month has got my (mind) bedridden. Every night I would think about writing something, and not do it because it didn’t feel right. Well. The same old, shabby abuse. ABUSE.

I’m back here now though. This is a poem I heard about a year ago on this gem of person’s awesome sauce channel called Kavi Sandeep Dwivedi. Please follow it for your own good (mental) health.

PS. He has a beautiful voice 🙂

It made me wonder- for real. When I heard it for the first time, I never realised that this context existed.

It was as if there is a truth in the universe, but it’s counter-truth existed too yet I was so blind to it that until I stumbled upon this poem, I had no idea that it was as big, and as true as the very existence of one man’s enlightenment.

It’s a starting point of a world religion, but also a starting point of a woman’s heartache.

Buddhism is a fantastic faith- that’s my personal belief.

But I can’t untie the knot this poem has tied in my heart and mind.

Written from the beautiful perspective of Gautam Buddha’s wife, Yashodhara, this is Sakhi Wo Mujhse Kehkar Jaate. One can almost hear it, isn’t it?

He left her. Without a word. In the middle of the night. Leaving her, and his son behind for a greater good.

And the rest is history.

But history lies on the mantle of world’s greatest tales and often casts a shadow in the glory of its own light that it bathes in.

This poem is the tale of that shadow. Written by the stalwart, Maithilisharan Gupt.

Tell me this: How would you feel if your husband left you, without a word, in the middle of the night? Even if that meant that he went on to become the Buddha?

Think- just in that moment, before he attains that honourable title, how would she have felt?

I wonder.

I wonder.

*PS. Kuch Lahori hain jinke jawaab ka intezaar hai. I see a lot of people from Pakistan on this blog. If you know anyone from Coke Studio, help me get in touch? I promise it’s going to be worth their while.

PPS. Maithilisharan Gupt was given the title of Rashtra Kavi by Mahatma Gandhi. Fun trivia. All the more reasons to know and learn about Hindi for me. 🙂

Enjoy.

The knot.

सखि, वे मुझसे कहकर जाते ।

सखि, वे मुझसे कहकर जाते..
कह, तो क्या मुझको वे अपनी पथ-बाधा ही पाते ?

I wish he had said something before he left, my dear friend..
Do you think if he had, I would have deterred him from his path?

मुझको बहुत उन्होंने माना
फिर भी क्या पूरा पहचाना ?
मैंने मुख्य उसी को जाना
जो वे मन में लाते ।
सखि, वे मुझसे कहकर जाते ।

Though he thought really highly of me
But do you think he ever got to know the real me?
Since for me, any of his thoughts were greater truths
But friend, he should have said something before leaving.

स्वयं सुसज्जित करके क्षण में,
प्रियतम को, प्राणों के पण में,
हमीं भेज देती हैं रण में –
क्षात्र-धर्म के नाते ।
सखि, वे मुझसे कहकर जाते ।

For you see
This is about us
We prepare ourselves at a moment’s notice
To endanger the life of our beloved
In a gamble called ‘war’
All in the name of our Kshatriya dharma
He should have said a word..

हु‌आ न यह भी भाग्य अभागा,
किसपर विफल गर्व अब जागा ?
जिसने अपनाया था, त्यागा;
रहे स्मरण ही आते !
सखि, वे मुझसे कहकर जाते ।

This fate isn’t unfortunate, you see
Who do I fruitlessly be proud of?
The one who I belonged to, sacrificed me
And now I survive on his memories!
He should have said something before he was decided to go..

नयन उन्हें हैं निष्ठुर कहते,
पर इनसे जो आँसू बहते,
सदय हृदय वे कैसे सहते ?
गये तरस ही खाते !
सखि, वे मुझसे कहकर जाते ।

My eyes sternly speak so loudly
But the tears that keep falling from them
For how long could my heart have dealt with it?
He could have had pity on me..
He should have told me.

जायें, सिद्धि पावें वे सुख से,
दुखी न हों इस जन के दुख से,
उपालम्भ दूँ मैं किस मुख से ?
आज अधिक वे भाते !
सखि, वे मुझसे कहकर जाते ।

I hope that wherever he is, he attains his success happily
I hope he doesn’t bother with my sadness
How can I ever dare to complain?
When today I adore him more than ever
I wish! I wish he had told me before leaving.

गये, लौट भी वे आवेंगे,
कुछ अपूर्व-अनुपम लावेंगे,
रोते प्राण उन्हें पावेंगे,
पर क्या गाते-गाते ?
सखि, वे मुझसे कहकर जाते ।

I know he’s gone, and I know he will return
With unmatched wisdom and experiences
And my aching heart will welcome him back
But will I be.. happy?
I wish.
I wish he’d told me.
Before he left me.

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